Halloweenies

I love fall.

I hate raking and bagging leaves.

But I love toddlers playing in the leaves.

So I still love fall.

 

There's nothing about carving pumpkins that I don't love.  Except potty-training Eli while doing it.

"Where did that water on your chair come from El- ohhhhhh...." 5th pair of underwear that day.

 

 

And there is absolutely NOTHING that Eli didn't love about being Batmam and trick or treating.

And I love themes. We didn't have the cool-coordinated kind, just the lazy-copying kind.

 

 

 

Things to remember: Porter

 

Nicknames

Port (obvs)
Port-Snort (snorting is his communication medium of choice)
Port-a-boo (unavoidable)
Grump-a-wump (kid has a bad case of "resting grump face")

Girl look at that belly

Eating
Porter is the sloppiest, noisiest and most restless nurser I have ever encountered. If he wasn't so chubby I would worry that nothing is making it to his stomach.  A few weeks ago I tried to very discreetly feed him in Relief Society- bad move.  Thirty seconds in he started making what sounded to me like wild goose mating calls while choking on his own gluttonous consumption.  Every eye in the room politely but intensely turned my way as the nursing covered writhed with his ferocious kicks.  Nothing to see here folks, just drowning my child in milk is all.

Sleeping
We won the newborn sleeping lottery.  For now.  Which means we'll probably win a bout of chronic head lice or something when he's 8.  Porter sleeps through the night and takes a nice long afternoon nap.  This is the result of zero effort on my part and I worry that easy come, easy go.  But for now we just shed tears of joy.

Favorite Activity
Diaper changes.  I kid you not.  He lights up and starts flashing those pinky gums when he's put on the changing table and coos and babbles all during the whole ordeal.  I got his first smile out of him during a particularly nasty episode.  Patty-cake is a close runner-up.

 Sibling Relations
Guys, it was bad.  Eli did so well for the first month, but once it was clear that Porter was really not leaving we had a very hard couple of weeks.  Our once sweet little toddler had murderous intent in his heart ("Mommy, can I die Porter?", "No, we love Porter!", "No.") and only resumed some measure of sanity after taking a "Special Eli Trip to Utah" for three days of being coddled by grandparents and cousins away from Mom and Porter.    Although I'm sure it will be a bumpy process with lots of ups and downs, we seem to be on an 'up' this week and I love watching my cute-again Eli love on his brother.

Cuddles
Fuhgeddaboudit.  Unless he is dead asleep Porter will not hold still in any arms, but especially not in mine.  It doesn't matter if it's been three minutes or three hours since he last ate he goes hog-wild and roots away.  Note that this doesn't mean he doesn't want to be held; just don't expect a peaceful or calming snuggle.  Also, he's enormous.  Who needs weights?

We had this boy blessed a few weeks ago on a trip to Utah so that we could enjoy as many family and friends as possible (not that I doubt everyone WOULD have made the drive to our wonderful little town had we blessed him in Elko).  To our groupies- you guys are the best.

These sweet girls below are my favorite.  Both of them lived at my house at some point during high school or college (or both) and I was lucky enough to spend a summer in Mexico with Anai's family.  Now here we are more than 10 years later with 1.5, 2 and 2 kids each.  It's a good life.

Great camera phone skills Mom!

Bros Before Bows

These days I get asked the same questions asked over and over:

How are YOU doing?
Unavoidably tired but all healed up and feeling great, thanks.  So much easier and faster round 2.

Isn't he cuuuuuuuuttttteeee?!?!
Yes.  Yes he most certainly is.

How's the baby sleeping?
Top marks, man.  Goes to bed at 11 and wakes up around 4 and then 8 to eat.

What's it like with TWO little boys?
Well.  Let me tell you...

Eli LOVES Porter.  Fiercely.  HARD.  Like, I-love-you-so-much-I-can't-even-stand-it-so-I must-eat-you, shaking and trembling hard.  Luckily for us he's past the face-smushing phase so he settles for endless sloppy and prolonged kisses.  (Hugs have been temporarily banned due to an impressive display of Porter's projectile power after a particularly affectionate squeeze.)

It was a huge relief to me that Eli didn't resent Porter for upending his little world, because upended it was.  Suddenly Mom is nursing what feels like 50 times a day (Eli is very curious about the milk.  Yes son, your Mom IS like a cow) and changing as many diapers ("He pooped!  Again!  Can I see it?") and singing songs to someone else ("That's MY Twinkle Twinkle!).  But Eli loves his brother. He's still not sleeping as well or predictably, has inexplicable needs or pains whenever Porter starts to cry, and occasionally throws a fit when I can't carry him somewhere (Dude. You're HEAVY.) but he's two and we deal with it.

 I am so grateful for all the people that have come and helped, babysat, made food, sent food, called, texted, and most importantly PRAYED for us.  There have been times during Zach's ridiculously long shift of 12+ hour days that I was certain I would lose it.  But just before the tears would have started (mine, at least) some outside source would supply the patience, love, endurance or alertness that I needed to pull me through.  So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I love these two little brothers.

Porter Dan has Arrived

With Carson one week before my due date

The Birth Story
(If you're into reading that kind of thing.  If not, know that we had a baby in the usual manner and just look at the pictures)

I was promised by my all-knowing and extremely experienced doctor that I would not be having my baby on my due date.  And I didn't.  [Oh Bumpers, as Eli would say] He swore up and down that I would need to be induced.  But I didn't.  [Boo yeah! as Zach would say]

Two nights before my scheduled induction I was up late watching a show [Blue Bloods, anyone?] when it came to my attention that those "practice contractions" were starting to get kinda intense.  Half an hour later I yelled over to Zach, who was in the video game zone, that we had hit 3 minute intervals.

It was then that I knew Zach truly loved me, because he quit MID GAME to hover over me.  He was all for heading to the hospital right away, but I had to shower first.  Birth is just one of those times were all of your personal dignity goes out the window and so I needed to gather what humanity I could by making sure that I went into that hospital with shaved legs.  By the time I was done the contractions had reached the "Hoo Nelly!" stage.

We arrived [after a few wrong turns- apparently pre-birth jitters made my chauffeur (Zach) forget where the hospital was] at the hospital at 1:00 AM and by 1:30 I was in my delivery room, relieved to have been admitted, dilated to a 4 and waiting for the poor anesthesiologist to be summoned from his bed for my epidural.  By 3:00 the juice was doing its magic and I was asleep.  Have I mentioned I love epidurals?  For the next three hours Zach and I slept as my contractions got bigger and closer and the baby descended.  By the time the doctor came to break my water at 6:00 AM I was at an 8.

At 7:45 I really needed to push.  This time unfortunately coincided with a meeting my doctor needed to be in and he looked skeptical when I told him that it had taken an hour and a half of pushing to get Eli out.  He let me do a "trial push" and as I did his eyes widened and he said, "Wait!  Stop!  Don't push for a minute.  Let me get gowned up!"  We were in business.

It was pretty quick after that.  One push and the head popped out.  The body didn't follow right away, so the doctor had nurses taking turns pushing my stomach down like their very lives depended on resuscitating my belly button.  By the time the baby's shoulders were free the pressure had built up to such a level that, uh, baby fluids came shooting out of every gap and went spraying across the room.  One contraction later and the rest of his body came, riding a huge tidal wave that hit the doctor with impressive force.  That brave man didn't even flinch.

Porter Daniel entered the world at a whopping 9 lbs 9 oz and 21.5 inches long.  And with this cute squishy-faced newborn, we began our life as a family of four.

 

Our stay in the hospital was the opposite experience of the one we had with Eli.  We had ONE nurse at a time, NO students, a big beautiful room and a calm baby with no complications.  Here's looking at you, Orem Community Women's Center.  Your strawberry cheesecake is delicious.

Thanks for all the visitors that came and special thanks to all the grandparents who made one sleep-deprived crazy toddler feel loved through the whole experience.  We'll talk more about that later.

Welcome welcome little man!

Toddler Oddities

Eli asks for a story (no...3 stories, no... 16 stories!) before bed every night.  Zach is superb at making up Roary (Dinosaur) adventures on the spot, but I usually resort to retelling fairy tales.   Now though, in part because of all the talk about the baby coming, all Eli has wanted lately are "Eli Baby Stories".  This really strains my story telling abilities because while Eli was an adorable infant, there's not much plot line to be had to entertain a toddler, and I've forgotten more than I ever thought I could about that baby phase.  This post is so I can remember for future "when I was little" requests.

The Tupperware and Pot Relocation Program

Apparently Eli feels sorry for the pots and pans in their cold, dark cabinet and can't resist the urge to take them out for an airing on the stairs.  Despite having his own kitchen, most magnet and crayon concoctions are created in my pots and dutifully tested thereafter.

The tupperware that hold our flour, wheat flour, and sugar were also lined up on the same stair daily, much to the danger of anyone attempting to go up or down the stairs.  After Eli learned to get the lids off I started my own relocation program to a higher shelf in the pantry.

Baggie Compartmentalization

This is one organized child that we are raising, and small plastic baggies are his weapon of choice.  If left unattended, a box of sandwich bags will all be filled with blocks, dinos, silverware, legos, and cars in less than half an hour. These baggies are then placed inside of other baggies, and then into grocery baggies from whence they are then claimed as "lunch for Daddy" and ordered to be taken to Daddy's work.  Many credit cards and pieces of jewelry have been "organized" in this manner so we are very careful about what we toss in the garbage can these days.

Apple Jack Adoration

A few months ago we started bedtime prayers with Eli and tried to explain the general organization of how a prayer should go.  Every night he is grateful for (in this order) Grandpa, MaiMai, Mommy, Daddy, and the baby in Mommy's tummy.  But before even Grandpa is mentioned, Eli is grateful for Apple Jacks.  It doesn't matter how long it's been since he last had a bowl, "Thank you Apple Jacks" is the first thing out of his mouth.

No-huh

I remember fearing the "no" stage of toddlerdom and now that it has arrived it's as bad as I thought.  Eli's initial response to everything is NO, so I take great delight in offering things I know he wants right after a particularly adamant refusal.  His mouth is faster than his processing skills, so when this happens and the "no" has already come out he modifies it with a "huh" (as in uh huh) at the end.

This method also works really well when Zach and I are both around and he doesn't want to bother calling us by our individual titles.  We become Mah-dee or Da-mee at times like these.

Never ever ever ever AGAIN!

If "no's" aren't cutting it to express Eli's feelings, then he pulls out the big guns: "Never ever ever ever ever ever (number of evers directly related to the hatred of the offense) AGAIN!  His delivery is usually funny enough that I laugh, but it's hard to explain to a two year-old that we will, indeed, have to cut his hair, change his diaper, take a bath, and go to bed again.  It's difficult to avoid a breakdown after this statement has been used.

Use THAT in a sentence

With his ever-expanding vocabulary, there are times that Eli knows words that I don't.  Take "sanshi" for example.  After having him repeat the word a couple of times and not recognizing the context, the conversation usually goes something like this:

Mom: Eli, what does "sanshi" mean?
Eli: Sanshi, is, like, "Hi, sanshi!"
Mom: ?

Every time.

HIDE!

I'm not sure how it started, but Eli loves to hide when either Zach or I comes home, and gets VERY upset if not given enough warning.  His usual preference is to be covered with blanket but has lately favored under his bed behind his animals.  As soon as he hears Dad's voice on the phone saying he's coming home (be it in an hour or more) he bolts for the nearest hidey-hole.

We love this quirky kid and look forward to the not-so-little times to come!