Thursday, April 19, 2012

Marriage, a study of quirks

 We are at that age in life when there's always some friend or relation getting married, and we are often asked for advice, or what the weirdest part about being married is.  So, in honor of our Two Year Anniversary this week, we are spilling it all!
I now present you with...

Zach's Top 5 Weirdest Quirks

#5: Zach does not appreciate having his food mixed while cooking.  When making spaghetti, I am not allowed to use the same spatula to stir the sauce as to stir the noodles, even if we're going to mix it together before eating it anyway.  Apparently, while not necessarily harmful, it is "unprofessional"

#4: When we were first married, I tried to make Zach's lunch every morning like a good little wife.  A few weeks after school started, Zach got up the courage to tell me that while he appreciated me making his lunch, I was doing it "wrong".  There was simply not enough peanut butter on the sandwiches.  So I added more, then more again, and STILL more.  This boy loves his peanut butter to an insane degree.

#3: I am often accused of "hiding" things that Zach left out.  He's very good at keeping track of what section of the floor he put his shoes, pants, shirts etc on for use later on.  It must slightly creep him out to find that they've magically made their way to the closet. 

#2: We keep a laundry basket handy in our room at all times, but for some reason it's easier for Zach to drop his dirty clothes on the floor as opposed to the basket that's a foot away, even though the distance from hand to landing is shorter.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Exhibit A:
#1: The strangest quirk that I have discovered so far is the Empty Container Quirk.  Zach will use up something (a box of cereal, a gallon of milk) down to the last few crumbs or drops and then place it BACK into the refrigerator or the pantry supposing that it will magically refill itself.  Wha...?

These funny little quirks make me (and apparently everyone else) love my man to pieces.  Thanks for the best two years babes!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Livin' the sweet life

It is tradition around New Year in the United States to find some way to torture yourself for a few months (or a few weeks) before losing interest and going back to the old blissful self.  For some people it's learning a couple new languages, others P90X while doing a 100 day fast, stubbing your toe daily, running marathons, etc.  The only connotation is that must be painful and easily discontinued if you decide not to proceed with said activity.  I'm not sure how this tradition came about, but it is probably as a result of long-lived and misunderstood dare.

This brings us to Clarissa and I earlier this year.  Her family is a big proponent of this dare thing, and suggested this time to do a "no sugar" diet for the first three months of the year.  Being the strong, capable man I am, I was easily cowed into joining this sugarless cult in support of my wife.  Bacon was still allowed, and I doubt there will be a high number of sugary items in the case of a zombie apocalypse, so yeah, I'm in.  No pain, no gain, right?

Well, if anyone wants to see the results of the no sugar diet in graph form, you can see the results right here.  Clarissa was a warrior, and a fine competitor.  But if you notice, their are a few spots where I really gave her a run for her money.  I cite day 02/21 and 03/04 in particular.   I'm sure she'll recover though.

In the end, I think both Clarissa and I both learned some things about a no-sugar diet.  I list them in order below:

  • It's the 21st century, I consider myself enlightened enough to forgo goal setting.
  • The best way to sneak sugary items is while at school.
  • Don't tell wife about snuck sugary items
  • It doesn't get any easier as you go along.  Day 90 was just as hard as Day 1.
  • Sugar-free ice cream is amazing if you find the right kind
  • Sugar-free ice cream is a laxative.
  • I DID lose weight, but I would rather have exercised more than miss Tawny's amazing desserts
  • There is a BAD rebound period afterwards.  As pictured below, we've been going all out around here:
The Easter Bunny was kind this year.  Too kind.
For the record, Zach can fit 21 marshmallows in his cavernous mouth.

Clarissa can only fit 10.
 In the end, I think there will still be Twinkies in a zombie apocalypse.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Before there were soccer moms...

... there were Jiu Jitsu wives.

Zach has a new hobby, and he is GOOD at it.  Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a form of grappling that involves mostly wrestling with the intent to gain submissions by either cutting off the opponents air or straining their limbs until they "tap" out.  If you discount all the weird flailing and grunting, it's quite the gentleman's sport.

With his background in wrestling, Zach is an excellent Jiu Jitsuer.  His first tournament was a few weeks ago, and although I've been forbidden to say he was "giddy with excitement" and didn't sleep well the night before, I will tell you that I've never seen that boy so hyped up.

Unfortunately the memory card with all our pictures from the matches got corrupted, but here's a general idea of what goes on:

Zach would like to add the disclaimer that he beat this guy previously, and was
not always belly up.
They usually both end up pretty sweaty and exhausted by the end, but only Zach ended up as the victor.  My man won all his matches and became division champion.

To show how in tune these guys are with their competitors, they award 1st place
with a wooden katana instead of a medal.  Legit.
He has asked that we now all address him as "JJC", "JJChamp", or straight up "Jiu Jitsu Champion".

All hail.